Another epiphany after midnight

(when else BUT after midnight?) - I was going through something that Dom wrote and thought that we both wanted the same things. So here I go, re-capturing his idea.

"Today I crawled out of the house around 3 PM. After waiting for the bus and cursing everything in sight I decided to take the slightly longer way to Manhattan. After jumping on and off a few trains I got to Union Square pretty quickly (under 45 minutes). I hopped over to three different Barnes & Noble stores hoping to find Colloquial Swedish but alas, none had it. And then I realized how much fun I had going between all of these stores, book stores. And I thought to myself how nice it would be to have someone to share this with me.

I guess if I had to place a mathaphoric personals ad it would go something like this: Single, gay man: sensitive, full of knowledge, possesses a passion for life, discovered a brand new perspective on reality looking for a single gay male, preferably European, tall, dark and handsome with a sense of proactiveness, independence and self-sufficiency. Looking to spend evenings at home sipping red wine, driving around aimlessly, walking around the city and helping each other out throughout whatever goals we aspire to achieve. Knowledge of foreign languages a plus but not necessary. And interest in history, current events, geography and philosophy a plus. A sushi connoisseur a plus."

I think that we are along the same lines - looking for the same things in life, although history, current events and geography? Could be my thing but I do hate talking about politics and things like that, it's not all about changing the world. But I always come up with these stupid 'this-is-the-guy-I'm-looking-for' descriptions, when really I should get fucked. Because the right guy will come along eventually and I will know exactly when he does.

Temporary anti-depressant

Last night was good, for a Saturday night anyway. I had the pleasure of great company and even though I spent the whole night bitching and complaining, they enjoyed listening to it, and I felt good to vent.

Well, that's all I have to say. It was a good night and, although not sad, it was a shame that it had to end.

In A Cage (On Prozac)

Last night I would say that I had another 'episode'. They always tend to come up at night when I'm by myself funnily enough. So here I am, lying in bed feeling sorry for myself and going through that stage and I know that if I was just with some good company, everything would be alright. I think I should call that situation a 'temporary anti-depressant'.

Like, yesterday I went for a three hour walk through Cornwall Park. It was magnificent, the weather was perfect and it was such a beautiful place. Walking along side my 'temporary anti-depressant' was good, all of a sudden all my troubles had gone away. But as soon as we parted, I came home to an empty room and just suddenly felt so alone. It's nothing new, but it's getting more frequent. Don't you worry, I'm taking care of it.

Last night I was lying in bed listening to songs by Whitney Houston (mainly ballads and slow jams) and also 'Why' by Annie Lennox and some Toni Braxton songs. I think I have Rhys to thank for this, because after we watched a DVD with these songs on it, I went and downloaded them. Well, music should always reflect your mood shouldn't it? No use in listening to punk rock when you're feeling down!

I haven't heard from Todd in six days. So if you are reading this, then get in contact! My mum emailed me last night so I felt a bit better. And I got just over nine hours sleep so that was great.

Noise in my head

"the noise in my head
its all i can hear
but no one around me
senses my fear

the noise in my head
does anyone care?
my soul and my body
lie still as a tear".

That was a poem that Gus wrote. I actually wrote it down last year and it's pinned up on my notice board along with some other poetry from other different sources that kind of share that same tone, like the lyrics from My Red Cell, the punk group from the UK ("I'm ten feet tall and I'm going to kill your boyfriend" from their single "In a Cage (on Prozac)").

The point? No point really. It's just the mood I'm in at the moment. If I had a dollar for each time someone has asked me if I'm OK today, I would have $6-. Yes, I'm OK, I'm always going to be OK, I think that's just my nature. I'll take things as they come. I can be prepared for anything and everything. Yes, I can get down, I can be melodramatic, I can be a bitch. But can't we all?

I'm OK. Honestly. Things happen for a reason and I welcome everything and everyone who comes my way. Anyway, time to brighten up. Don't you just love this picture? I'm the one decorated as a tree.

To new beginnings

Is it not amazing when you can stay up all night just talking to someone and enjoy yourself?

Well, my weekend was a long one although thinking about it, it was just Sunday that was very long. On Saturday I didn't manage to sleep in after my night out because of the whole Melbourne thing that day and amazingly enough I managed to stay up until 4am on Sunday morning. Went out for coffee (although I had to settle for a 'chocolate milkshake' as Jake from Gloria Jean's described it. I wonder if they actually did do ice chocolates like I asked, but was in too tired a mood to comprehend what was going on) surrounded with very good company.

I would say that my mantra used to be 'surround yourself with positive people'. Supposedly we all work off each others vibes and when we are surrounding kick ass people, they would rub off on us. Well this past weekend I have been doing just that. I also met someone who I have previously known in a past life so that was really cool!!

I'm going to take one day at a time now while still keeping in mind that looking forward is a good thing as well. And I should try to reminisce times of good feelings - when you've had lots to drink and your bed is the comfiest place on the planet, the way having Listerine pocket pack strips are like being tripped on acid, when it's stormy outside and you're sitting infront of the fire toasting your marshmallows (or with a lighter if you're outside at Britomart). Good times.

I want to get back into my photography. But for some reason I just can't - it's hard to get out my manual 35mm SLR and take photos when I have my digital camera at hand, ready to easily manipulate the images to my liking, or trash them at my disgust. Perhaps I should just stick all my images on my wall like I've been planning to for a while - I'll have to do it tastefully though; no blu-tak or nails to hammer my portfolio this time. Well, that's something to think about anyway.

Gus wants me...

... bad.

Need I say more? He will try to cover it up by saying that he doesn't want me, but wants my body. Do not be fooled.

A night on the town

I hit the streets last night, in a mission to move aimlessly around the city. I met up with a friend and we went just chilled out, many many storeys up over-looking the city of Auckland. It was such a clear night and just so perfect. If I could have opened a window and jumped out, I might have. I feel like bungy jumpy - not off the Sky Tower or the Harbour Bridge, but in Queenstown, or perhaps just out of a building with a nice view.

I think that Auckland has the potential to look realy nice at night, and there are lots of places you can go if you don't really want to be disturbed. Britomart especially looks great at night, it is lit up perfectly, has lots of lines and angles complementing one another and is empty inside. It's just an amazing place by night.

My favourite place to chill out in the city would be down by Britomart, near the water feature, where there are seats and rocks with carvings in them. The buildings on either side look run down and gorgeous, New York-esque, with broken windows and faded paint.

Nights where you can just go out, chill out until the early hours of the morning, be surrounded by realy good conversation and then some, yeah, I love it. I should do it more often.

Spreading the word

Je suis en train de penser de créer un journal, écrit entièrement en français. Je pense qu’il m’aiderait à ‘penser’ comme une francophile, même si la langue est toujours intermédiaire. Je pourrais écrire sur mon jour, en employant le passé composé et l’imparfait. Je parlerai de ce que je ferai le jour suivant par exemple pour utiliser le futur. Je pense que comprenant comment on emploie le temps correctement me bénéficiera le plus. Qu’est-ce que vous pensez?

Aujourd’hui par exemple, je suis allé à la poste, pour acheter des timbres. J’en ai acheté deux, l’un pour une cadre à mon ami qui habite en Fiji, l’autre pour mon ami qui est suisse. L’homme, qui y travaille, m'a donné un timbre de valeur $1.35. J’ai cru que ce valeur était moins comme d’habitude. Quand j'arrivais chez moi, je me suis rendu compte qu’il m’avait donné le timbre faux! Je n’ai voulu pas y retourner pour demander des timbres de 15c, quoique j'aie payé un timbre de valeur $1.50. Quel dommage!!

I have been encouraged by Max Currie to welcome you to his blog. He asked me how I came across it and I told him that 'someone' had referred me to it. I said to him, "I'm sorry, was it a private thing? I just thought that your lyrics were amazing, you're very talented". In reply, he said that he was flattered and I was more than welcome to read, and in pandering to his vanity, direct others to his blog.

This I think is a wonderfully crafted photo, the lighting is perfect as is the juxtaposition of the objects. I'm loving the angles, the divisions, the colours working with one another. I must add before I get any actions of Property Theft that this image was taken by Max as a self portrait and can be found at his blog. So there you go, in a way, he has given me a new mission - to spread the word. And here I am, doing just that.

10 points for me!

Was alerted to Max's profile on nzdating dot com and sent him a message to let him know that I've been reading his blog (but didn't tell him he was the reason I started my own).

Of my own profile, he said "Hey sweetheartt - yours is the best most original and personal profile I've yet come across. 10 points on being you. Keep up the good work. Max."

He sent this at 2am, and after reading his latest entry, apparently he was on the piss all night, so who knows if he was telling the truth or not. Let us just assume he is, because hey, I'm a great person and any guy would be lucky to be with someone like me.

Yeah right!! :D

Spent the morning watching the service for this Unknown Warrior. I wish that when I died (in my past life) that I was given a state funeral, that would have been so cool. Perhaps I will marry into the Royal Family or something like that. I could become the first Asian Prime Minister of New Zealand? That way I would probably get one. Or just any Prime Minister of New Zealand.

*Adds it to my "do-to list"*

Wanted: Hot ComLaw Guy

I have this friend (who shall remain nameless, as last time I didn't BCC him into a mass email he got angry at me for perhaps having him labelled 'gay by association') who has become very interested in helping me find information on 'Hot ComLaw Guy', a hot guy who was in my ComLaw lecture last semester.

So, my friend is effectively acting as my spy as I do not live anywhere near the area myself. And good on him. Now, if YOU are the "Hot ComLaw Guy" (blond hair, recently cut, Fila backpack, 4-5pm 101 stream, black dog, possibly a labrador) please get in touch. No doubt you will recognise me from my profile picture. I'm not a serial stalker. You know who you are. We would make eye contact numerous times each lecture, you used to sit infront of me in every lecture (the aisle seat on the second row). Then you stopped turning up. I wonder why this was? Then you turned up and started sitting behind me. I knew you were copying my notes from over my shoulder. Then you sat next to me, across from the aisle. We once sat next to each other and you were bouncing your right leg up and down against mine. You're a funny man.

Again, you know who you are. And I know who you are, your name, your address, what your parents do for a living. I know you were walking your dog on Monday night around 8.30pm, Clive Road, a black t-shirt, blue jeans and white sneakers. Give yourself up!

Now, whilst I'm on this topic of spies and watching for people. If you happen to be at Subway on Broadway around lunchtime any day of the week and see someone who looks like a user hanging around like a bad smell, maybe with a camera, perhaps with a smirk on his face, chances are that the person is Gus. He too has some spy qualities - watch out for him!

Fireworks are SO last week guys...

Je peux être et intelligent et artistique. En écrivant en français, on peut dire que je suis romantique, car tout le monde sait que le français est l’un des langues romanes. Bien que personne ne puisse comprendre, je pense qu’il est bon d’écrire comme ça.

Je suis en train de lire « Angels and Demons » de Dan Brown, l’auteur du « Da Vinci Code ». Ce livre-là se passe avant celui-ci, et c’est fascinant ! Je n’ai pas pu arrêter de lire hier soir. J’ai hâte de le terminer afin de lire « Da Vinci Code ».

Aujourd’hui, j’ai passé mon examen de français. J’ai cru qu’il était difficile, le compréhension (le deuxième chose à faire) – si je ne peux pas comprendre le titre sans mon dictionnaire, comment est-ce que je vais pour comprendre le texte ? Si je ne suis pas intéressé par le texte, je n'essayerai pas de le comprendre.

I'm feeling in a much better mood, although my rough patch was just before I started this blog. Things are going quite well, I had a good talk last night with a really good friend and things are looking brighter :)

Getting there, slowly...

I'm liking the layout of this blog - I couldn't have come up with anything so cool by myself so thank god for templates. I've been looking at other peoples blogs (mainly Max Currie's though) and they're just so cool, lots of groovy pictures and just cool sounding. I wish I were cool. I'll be putting in some images soon I hope, I just have to scout some out.

I had my history exam today, the paper is Sexual Histories - Western Sexualities from Medieval to Modern Times. I think that it is cool I can learn about 14th-century male transvestite prostitutes and talk about J.Lo's ass without sounding like a racist. Man I am going to be SO cool at parties. Just you wait and see...

*Why did I write like this?*

Bootylicious dit :
[insert picture of a cats head]
anthony dit :
*loves pussy*
Bootylicious dit :
*loves it more*
anthony dit :
*believes it when i see it*
Bootylicious dit :
*sees it....believes it•
anthony dit :
hmmm that was fun
Bootylicious dit :
'twas
anthony dit :
*bored*
Bootylicious dit :
*same*
anthony dit :
*sigh*
Bootylicious dit :
*ditto*
anthony dit :
*blinks*
Bootylicious dit :
*doesnt*
anthony dit :
*is reminded of artificial intelligence (featuring my favourite actor jude law, who also starred in a movie that is playing at 1145 tonight tv3) where haley joel osment doesnt blink in the whole film*
Bootylicious dit :
*isnt it A.I.*
anthony dit :
*thats what i said?*
Bootylicious dit :
*you said artificial intelligence*
anthony dit :
*sure i did.. which contracted spells A.I??*
anthony dit :
*doesnt like these technicalities*
Bootylicious dit :
*exactly... wouldnt it have been easier just towrite A.I.?*
anthony dit :
*perhaps.. but then the sentence wouldnt have been as long which was the effect i was going for*
Bootylicious dit :
*shuts up*
anthony dit :
*listens to bobby brown*
Bootylicious dit :
*doesnt*
anthony dit :
*is reminded of artificial intelligence (featuring my favourite actor jude law, who also starred in a movie that is playing at 1145 tonight tv3) where haley joel osment doesnt listen to bobby brown for the whole film*
Bootylicious dit :
* isnt it A.I.?*
anthony dit :
*thats what i said?*
Bootylicious dit :
*you said artificial intelligence*
anthony dit :
*sure i did.. which contracted spells A.I??*
anthony dit :
*doesnt like these technicalities*
Bootylicious dit :
*exactly... wouldnt it have been easier just towrite A.I.?*
anthony dit :
*perhaps.. but then the sentence wouldnt have been as long which was the effect i was going for*
Bootylicious dit :
*shuts up*
anthony dit :
*has a conversation that is going around in circles*
Bootylicious dit :
*doesnt*