I showed Alistair a picture of Todd and asked what he thought of the photo. He asked me if it was ‘Zachary’ as a joke. I told him that it was actually a photo of my best friend. He told me that he thought I didn’t have one; that I thought I could do without one. I told him that I had actually gone back to someone else and asked them to be friends with them again. He kept saying that he was going to presume that I wasn’t talking about who he thought I was talking about. That he would presume I wasn’t low enough to resort to going back to someone who hurt me so much.
We got into a bit of a heated discussion about it, or more Alistair did and I just listened and calmly spoke my bit. He told me that he couldn’t understand why I would want Todd to be my friend again, after everything that happened. Alistair asked if everything he had told me about being a magnificent person and so on, had suddenly meant nothing?
He asked me what I saw in Todd, why I liked him. I told him that I wanted a friend who didn’t reserve judgement on situations, that I wanted someone who was honest with me. Someone who would tell me the truth, regardless of whether it would hurt me or not. I told him that even though he thought that Todd was cruel, harsh and not a very nice person, he was saying all those things because he knew he could and he knew that I wanted him to. I explained to Alistair that Todd was like an authority figure; anything that he said I would take on board, I would listen to and I would at least think about.
I told him that I was to blame for the whole situation; that it was me who shaped the image of Todd into his head. Everything that he knows about Todd is from what I’ve said, my description of Todd is the only thing that gives him any shape. If I hadn’t focussed primarily on all the negative aspects, then Alistair wouldn’t have formed such a negative opinion of him. I told Alistair that Todd had been there for me at times when I really needed him and that he had turned my life around as well; they were just aspects of our relationship that I didn’t share with him.
We got into a bit of a heated discussion about it, or more Alistair did and I just listened and calmly spoke my bit. He told me that he couldn’t understand why I would want Todd to be my friend again, after everything that happened. Alistair asked if everything he had told me about being a magnificent person and so on, had suddenly meant nothing?
He asked me what I saw in Todd, why I liked him. I told him that I wanted a friend who didn’t reserve judgement on situations, that I wanted someone who was honest with me. Someone who would tell me the truth, regardless of whether it would hurt me or not. I told him that even though he thought that Todd was cruel, harsh and not a very nice person, he was saying all those things because he knew he could and he knew that I wanted him to. I explained to Alistair that Todd was like an authority figure; anything that he said I would take on board, I would listen to and I would at least think about.
I told him that I was to blame for the whole situation; that it was me who shaped the image of Todd into his head. Everything that he knows about Todd is from what I’ve said, my description of Todd is the only thing that gives him any shape. If I hadn’t focussed primarily on all the negative aspects, then Alistair wouldn’t have formed such a negative opinion of him. I told Alistair that Todd had been there for me at times when I really needed him and that he had turned my life around as well; they were just aspects of our relationship that I didn’t share with him.
